{"id":3972,"date":"2020-05-15T09:27:19","date_gmt":"2020-05-15T13:27:19","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/cafe.nfshost.com\/?p=3972"},"modified":"2020-05-15T09:27:19","modified_gmt":"2020-05-15T13:27:19","slug":"sloppy-joe-and-the-values-test","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/cafe.nfshost.com\/?p=3972","title":{"rendered":"\u201cSloppy\u201d Joe and the Values Test"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Throne, Altar, Liberty\n<\/a>\n<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

The Canadian Red Ensign<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
\"The<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Friday, May 15, 2020<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

\n\u201cSloppy\u201d Joe and the Values Test\n<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

\n\n\n\n\n“Sloppy” Joe Baconburger was the owner of a restaurant. It was an \nindependent eatery called the Celestial Carnivore. As you have \nprobably deduced it catered to a meat-eating clientele. Barbecue ribs,\n steaks grilled to perfection, pork chops, and prime rib \u2013 these were \nthe staples of the supper menu. Its hamburgers, fried chicken and \nchili con carne were all popular. The pizza section of the menu had but\n a single entry and that was for \u201cMeat Lovers\u201d. The Carnivore was most\n famous, however, for a sandwich.

\nThis sandwich was a multi-layered spectacular. Forget the mere \nclubhouse or even the triple-decker. This sandwich had separate layers \nfor roast beef, roast pork, roast turkey, and roast lamb. Each layer \nalso contained a hearty portion of ham and bacon and slices of various \nsorts of cheese. If you wanted, vegetable fillers such as lettuce, \ntomato, and cucumbers would also be added, but these were optional. It\n was served smothered in chili and gravy. Naysayers called it \u201cthe \nheart attack waiting to happen\u201d but every day people would come from \nnear and far to order it.

\nOne day something strange happened. Like any other day, “Sloppy” Joe \narrived at the Carnivore early, pulled into his parking spot, got out of\n his car, and headed towards the door. Then he ran into a wall. Or at\n least it felt like a wall. Whatever it was he could not see it. \nThere was nothing there to the visible eye but something was blocking \nhis path to the entrance.

\nBaffled by the invisible barrier and uncertain of what to do about it, \n“Sloppy” Joe turned around and took a step in the direction of his car. \n He was unable to go any further, however, because he found his path \nimpeded yet again by the unseen wall. Turning to his left and right, \nhe discovered that he was boxed in on all sides.

\nUttering something that need not be put down in print, “Sloppy” Joe \nlooked around and saw his neighbour Bob walking down the sidewalk on the\n other side of the street. He called over to Bob, asking him to go for\n help, but Bob just kept walking along. “Sloppy” Joe called louder, but\n there was still no response. He then screamed at the top of his lungs\n but Bob did not seem to hear him. Whatever was keeping him from \nleaving or entering his business was apparently also trapping all sound.

\nEventually Bob looked around and saw “Sloppy” Joe at which point \n“Sloppy” Joe began to gesture as best he could within the confines of \nhis transparent cage. Bob shook his head and said \u201cBetter stick to \ncooking Joe, that pantomime act is never going to sell.\u201d

\nSoon thereafter one of his employees arrived for her morning shift. \nShe waved to “Sloppy” Joe and said hello as she moved toward the \nrestaurant entrance but did not seem to notice anything was amiss. When\n she got as close to the door as “Sloppy” Joe was, however, a look of \nsurprise came over her face and then, as she turned in all directions, \none of panic. “Sloppy” Joe realized that she was trapped too. One by\n one, his employees showed up, and each in turn got trapped within an \ninvisible box.

\n\u201cWhat will happen when my customers start to show up?\u201d “Sloppy” Joe asked himself.

\nHe did not have long to wait. The first customer, one of his regulars,\n showed up like clockwork at the time the restaurant normally opened its\n doors to the public. He too found himself stuck between the \nmysterious unseen walls. The same happened to every other customer \nthat arrived after him.

\nBefore long the area around the restaurant was surrounded by people, \ntrapped in place by invisible boxes. There was approximately six feet \nof space between each of them.

\nAll of a sudden, a loud maniacal cackle came descending upon them from \nabove. Looking up, they saw a man standing on top of the restaurant, \nholding a device that resembled a cross between a machine gun and a \nvideo camera. Groaning inside, “Sloppy” Joe recognized the man as Dr. \nTofu Veggiebrain the notorious mad scientist and leader of an animal \nrights\/environmentalist activist group that wanted to make veganism \nmandatory and which had been targeting him and his restaurant with \nharassment of various sorts for years.

\n\u201cHow do you like my latest invention, ‘Sloppy’ Joe?\u201d Dr. Veggiebrain \nasked. \u201cI call it the Insta-Mime. Soon you and all others who murder\n and eat our animal brothers and sisters will be trapped between \ninvisible walls in the world\u2019s most despised form of performance art \nforever.\u201d

\nIt looked like he might be right. Within an hour the police, fire \ndepartment, and other emergency services had been called in and they \ncould find no way of releasing anyone from the invisible boxes. The \npolice wrote “Sloppy” Joe and each of the others a ticket for breaking \nthe by-law against public displays of pantomime and then took off.

\nSoon, however, word of the strange impromptu mime session outside of the\n Celestial Carnivore got out and within a couple of days it made its way\n to the Marshmallow Monks (1) in the Carpathian Mountains. They \nimmediately contacted \u201cEddy\u201d Johnson who rushed to the scene as Reaction\n Man, (2) battled Dr. Veggiebrain, and freed everyone from their \ninvisible prison. Since this is not an actual episode in The \nAdventures of Reaction Man but merely an essay illustration in which he \nmakes a cameo appearance, I will not elaborate on the details, but will \ninstead skip ahead to the aftermath of the trial of Dr. Veggiebrain.

\nAfter Dr. Veggiebrain was convicted criminally, “Sloppy” Joe filed a \ncivil action against him to recover the losses his business suffered \nover the period in which he, his employees, and his customers had been \nmimed. It was not difficult to obtain a ruling in his favour for the \nlaw on the matter and the principle of natural justice underlying that \nlaw are quite clear. If you deliberately harm somebody else\u2019s business\n he is entitled to compensation.

\nThings became complicated, however, when Dr. Veggiebrain said that he \nwould not contest the ruling and would gladly pay the damages \u2013 but only\n on the condition that the Celestial Carnivore sign a statement of \nagreement with his vegan values and convert to serving only plant-based \nfood.

\nWhereas most judges would not agree to such a stipulation, “Sloppy” Joe \nwas unfortunate enough to have Justice Bob Baddecision of the Ontario \nInferior Court hear his case. Judge Baddecision, who as we know is a \nclose friend of Lucy himself and is prone to live up to his last name, \n(3) considered Dr. Veggiebrain\u2019s stipulation to be entirely reasonable, \nand ordered that it be carried out.

\nYou have likely already figured out the point of this story. Therefore I will make my commentary brief.

\nA man\u2019s business is his livelihood. If your actions are demonstrably \nresponsible for harming or destroying another person\u2019s business, by the \nlaws of natural justice you are required to compensate him for this \ndamage. You do not get to hold the compensation to which he is \nentitled hostage until he meets your demands. If you attempt to do so \nyou are guilty of a form of blackmail or extortion.

\nOver the past two months many people have seen their businesses suffer \nto the point of insolvency. This was not due to substandard goods, \npoor service, or other faults of their own. Nor can it be attributed \nsolely to causes which are outside human control and for which no human \nagency can be held responsible. The coronavirus did not destroy these \npeople\u2019s businesses. Government ministers and their health officers \ndid with their mandatory social distancing regulations, shelter in place\n orders, and lockdown of so-called \u201cnon-essential\u201d businesses and \nservices. This is why these businesses are entitled to government \nassistance at this time. Such assistance is not a \u201cbail out\u201d nor is it\n socialism, although it will have the same long term effect as these of \nsaddling generations to come with an unthinkable tax and debt burden. \nIt is certainly not the government being compassionate, no matter how \nmuch Captain Airhead tries to dress it up in these terms. It is the \ngovernment paying compensation for damage it has itself inflicted.

\nThis is why the government has no right to impose a values test on the \nsmall businesses that apply for such compensation. Since the \ngovernment put these businesses in danger of bankruptcy, justice demands\n that the government pay restitution. As the party that has committed \nthe injury, the government does not get to hold back this restitution \nuntil the party that has sustained the injury agrees to support abortion\n and the alphabet soup agenda. Its values test is a form of extortion.

\nDon\u2019t let Captain Airhead get away with it.<\/a>

\n(1) To learn more about the Order of the Marshmallownians see \u201cBrother Moonpie and the Devil\u2019s Apocalypse.<\/a>\u201d
\n(2) \u201cEddy\u201d Johnson previously appeared in The Adventures of Reaction Man: Episode One \u2013 The Origin<\/a> and The Adventures of Reaction Man: Episode Two \u2013 Reaction Man Versus the Marxist Zombie Army<\/a>.
\n(3) Justice Bob Baddecision of the Ontario Inferior Court and Lucy the gender-confused devil feature in Lucy\u2019s Day in Court<\/a> and Justice for Minnie?<\/a>
\n\n\n\n\n\nPosted by\n\n\n\nGerry T. Neal\n<\/a>\n\n\n\nat\n\n6:30 AM<\/abbr><\/a>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\nLabels:\n“Sloppy” Joe Baconburger<\/a>,\nCOVID-19<\/a>,\nDr. Tofu Veggiebrain<\/a>,\nJustice Bob Baddecision<\/a>,\nJustin Trudeau<\/a>,\nMarshmallownians<\/a>,\nmimes<\/a>,\nReaction Man<\/a>,\nvalues test<\/a>,\nvegans<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Throne, Altar, Liberty The Canadian Red Ensign Friday, May 15, 2020 \u201cSloppy\u201d Joe and the Values Test “Sloppy” Joe Baconburger was the owner of a restaurant. It was an independent eatery called the Celestial Carnivore. As you have probably deduced … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[2191,2136,2193,1815,560,1817,2192,2194,2195,2196],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/cafe.nfshost.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3972"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/cafe.nfshost.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/cafe.nfshost.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/cafe.nfshost.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/cafe.nfshost.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=3972"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/cafe.nfshost.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3972\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3973,"href":"https:\/\/cafe.nfshost.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3972\/revisions\/3973"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/cafe.nfshost.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=3972"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/cafe.nfshost.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=3972"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/cafe.nfshost.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=3972"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}